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Elizabeth Warren Returns To Her Roots To Perform Ritual To Save Banking System
Choctaw, OK- Senator and former Native American squaw, Elizabeth Warren has had stresses, frustrations, and struggles this last week...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read
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Jeb Bush Calls Press Conference To remind People He’s Still Alive
Wherever Jeb Bush Lives- A man who was once revered as “The next big thing in the Republican party” has emerged from whatever hole he...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Clinton Associate Lives To Ripe Old Age
Washington, D.C.- In shocking fashion, we have been informed by insiders from Washington, D.C. that a longtime Clinton associate has...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20241 min read
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Biden Goes Door-To-Door In Ukraine Handing Out Publishers Clearing House Ch
Kiev, Ukraine- Biden continued his journey across Ukraine this week visiting the capital of Kiev. He and President Zelenskyy walked...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Starbucks To Auction Off Baristas To Live In Your House With You
Seattle, WA- In a somewhat surprising announcement this week, coffee superchain Starbucks has announced they will begin hiring out...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Disney Stunned At Negative Reviews Of New Release ‘Aladdin 2: Rub Me The Right Way’
Hollywood, CA- Disney executives are stunned at the overwhelming backlash of the latest release, Aladdin 2: Rub Me the Right Way. In this...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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To Prove It’s Safe, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine Bongs Water From Ohio River
East Palestine, Ohio- It has been 3 weeks since the East Palestine train derailment and concerns over the safety of the drinking water in...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Whoopi Goldberg Asked To Step Down From ‘The View’ For ‘Mansplaining’
New York, New York- In a surprising move this week, producers of ‘The View’ have asked longtime host Whoopi Goldberg to step down....
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Fauci Eats Raw Bat At Wuhan Wet Market To Prove Vaccines Are Effective
Wuhan, China- We have seen a lot of extreme action taken since the Covid-19 breakout in 2020, a lot of it by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the World...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Valentine's Day Canceled As Cupid Tests positive For Covid
Cupid’s House- Love is certainly not in the air quite as much as droplets containing the latest strain of Covid. As the nation was...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Retaliation: Biden And Kamala Make Out After State Of The Union Address
Washington D.C.- After witnessing the stomach-churning kiss between Jill Biden and Douglas Emhoff, the entire nation was taken aback and...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Biden To Deliver State Of The U.N. Address Tonight
Washington D.C.- The world waits in anticipation for the President's first ever state of the United Nations speech tonight, a move the...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Study: 97% Of Americans Still Practice Social Distancing To Avoid Talking To Other Humans
Tallahassee, FL- We are now 3 years from the implementation of lockdowns, masks, and social distancing, but a new study done at the...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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After Seeing His Shadow, Phil Gives Speech On Dangers Of Global Warming
Punxsutawney, PA- Another year begins and another year we’re stuck with 6 more weeks of winter. Those present at Gobbler’s Knob this...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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Running out of Money to Support Ukrainian Military, Biden Starts GoFundMe Page
Washington, D.C.- The exact amount of money, tanks, weapons, and intel assistance that the United States has given to Ukraine is up for...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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New Progressive Popsicle Sticks Help With Gender Identification
Oakland, CA- In a world where our children are being groomed to accept the fact that a man can be a woman and a woman can be a man and...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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After Outlawing Stoves, Joe Biden Makes YouTube Video Explaining How To Cook Over A Campfire
Outside Washington D.C.- President Joe Biden is a man of his word. Just weeks after threatening to ban stoves in every U.S. household,...
offendedamerican24
May 24, 20242 min read
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New Study: Fathers That Force Children To Play Sports Are Making Up For Own Lack Of Athleticism
Columbus, OH- In a new study done this week by the Institute for Shitty Parenting (ISP), researchers have now concluded that parents and...
offendedamerican24
May 23, 20242 min read
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Man Shot In Head Dies From Climate Change
Sacramento, CA- After some bizarre circumstances in downtown Sacramento this weekend, an autopsy has revealed some answers to things we...
offendedamerican24
May 23, 20242 min read
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Clintons Concerned As No One Has Mysteriously Committed Suicide Lately
Chappaqua, New York- Things have been mysteriously quiet lately concerning Bill and Hillary Clinton’s network of pedophiles, business...
offendedamerican24
May 23, 20242 min read
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