Valentine's Day Canceled As Cupid Tests positive For Covid

Cupid’s House- Love is certainly not in the air quite as much as droplets containing the latest strain of Covid. As the nation was gearing up for a day of happiness, flowers, and chocolates as that little bastard flew around shooting arrows laced with love, it appears that Covid has taken away just another form of enjoyment– Valentine’s Day.

It appears as though Cupid was at a small get together at St. Patrick’s, the Leprechaun from the Irish holiday’s house, as things got a little out of hand. “Yeah, there was quite a bit of drinking going on and before you knew it we had all of the ‘lower-level holiday’ mascots over and the party got pretty packed,” Cupid explained with a raspy voice and stuffy nose, “We had some U.S. Presidents, Columbus was there, Martin Luther King, Jr., the whole gang.”

When asked if there was any kind of social distancing or mask-wearing Cupid let out a wheezy laugh saying, “No way, we thought all of that was over and done with.” Our staff asked him how he thinks he contracted the virus and he said that St. Patrick the leprechaun had been known to really ‘get around’ and that he had a slight cough during the party but didn't want to let on that he wasn’t feeling well.

“Pat loves to party and loves to entertain,” Cupid explained, “So I’m sure when he started feeling a bit under the weather he just played it off so he could still have his ‘lower-level holiday mascot’ party. I’m sure he had no idea we would have to cancel Valentine’s Day, but it’s just the world we live in nowadays.”

Cupid is over 1,500 years old so we are all hoping for the best for him as we all know Covid really hammers the elderly. It’s unfortunate that love cannot exist today but quarantining Cupid is in the best interest of everyone in our country. See you in 2024 little guy.