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Back To Their Roots: MTV To Air Music Videos From 2:17AM To 2:22AM Every Tuesday
Los Angeles, CA- After a continued 20-year downward spiral in the ratings category, MTV is taking it back to their roots. The once...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20241 min read


Chicago Mayor Proposes Giving Homeless Weed So They Can Spend All Their Money On Alcohol
Chicago, Ill- As Lori Lightfoot makes her way out of her seat as mayor of Chicago, this other guy is coming in with lofty goals not even...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20241 min read


Gen Z-er Decries Sheltered Childhood: “I Didn’t Even Know What A Trans Person Was Until I was 6”
Eugene, OR- A 20-year-old liberal college student from the University of Oregon named Taven Hawkins made a viral announcement on his...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20241 min read


Ed Sheeran Pleads Not Guilty To Plagiarism, Yet Found Guilty Of Making Shitty Music
Suffolk, U.K.- In an ongoing lawsuit concerning Ed Sheeran and his plagiarism of the famous sexual tune, “Let’s Get It On” written by Ed...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


Coming Soon: Woke Version Of Willy Wonka To Be Named Tyrone And The Cracker Factory
Hollywood, CA- In the light of successful recent releases that feature African-American in lead roles, such as Wakanda Forever and Black...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


Celebrities Lose Blue Checks On Twitter, Still Have Herpes
Los Angeles, CA- You can’t have everything in the world, right? As entitled celebrities have pouted for the last few months about ‘losing...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


In Last Ditch Effort, Bed Bath And Beyond To Rebrand To Bed Black And Beyond
Union, NJ- As the company continues to struggle, Bed Bath and Beyond is taking drastic measures to try and stay afloat. The shares for...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


Man Pulled Over After Drinking At Applebee’s Arrested For Crime Of Eating At Applebee’s
Lufkin, TX- It wasn’t how Martin Friedman thought his Friday night would end last week. It started out just like any other Friday for...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


Tour de France To Feature Motorcyclist That Identifies As Bicyclist
France- In an attempt to ensure the same inclusivity as women’s sports in America, the Tour de France proudly announced this morning that...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20242 min read


American Progressives Upset With Lack Of Diversity On Chinese Sports Teams
Chicago, Ill- Livid social justice warriors were lined up in front of the Consulate General of The People’s Republic of China in Chicago...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20241 min read


Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre Reveals Small Village Of Gnomes That Have Nested In Her Hair
Washington, DC- After being absent from her job for a few days last week, Press Secretary has returned to dodging questions about our...
offendedamerican24
May 30, 20241 min read


Army Of AI Bots That Look Like Greta Thunberg Being Developed To Destroy Humanity
Silicon Valley, CA- Disturbing developments coming out of Silicon Valley this week as reports that some rogue AI developers have left...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20241 min read


Dude Drinking Bud Light With His Bros Suddenly Realizes He Might Be A Woman
Eugene, OR- Bradley Dawson had a fun weekend with his bros planned last week when things took a dramatic turn as he took a sip out of his...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


Lia Thomas’s Gynecologist Unsure How To Examine Lia’s Testicles, Scrotum, And Penis
Philadelphia, PA- Lia Thomas, the dominant male swimmer competing against females, decided since he was pretending to be a woman that he...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20241 min read


Easter Bunny Teams Up With Trans Activist To Remind Kids That Rabbits Can Lay Eggs
Palo Alto, CA- Everyone seems to be jumping on the trans bandwagon this week as social media dude that claims to be a girl, Dylan...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


Homeless San Francisco Man Lists Tent On AirBNB
San Francisco, CA- As the homeless crisis continues to get worse in San Francisco, a local vagrant has found a way to beat the system and...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


After Outlawing Stoves, New York Governor Plans To Ban Cars When Notified They Can Be Deadly
New York, New York- It’s been a whirlwind month for New York governor Kathy Hochul. The first-term governor has been bombarded with...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


Broke: Kaepernick Returns To San Francisco To Collect Reparations
San Francisco, CA- The world has thankfully heard very little from Colin Kaepernick lately– until late last week. Kaepernick had...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


As More Americans Go Missing In Mexico, Biden Suggests Building Border Wall
Del Rio, TX- President Joe Biden took an unexpected trip to the Texas/Mexico border this week to assess exactly how Americans are...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read


Zuckerberg Promises He’ll Be Your Friend If Someone Would Just Come Hang Out With him In The Metaverse
Metaverse- For someone who has as much money as Mark Zuckerberg, you would think it would be easy to make friends, right? Well, think...
offendedamerican24
May 29, 20242 min read
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