Jeb Bush Calls Press Conference To remind People He’s Still Alive

Wherever Jeb Bush Lives- A man who was once revered as “The next big thing in the Republican party” has emerged from whatever hole he moved into after being completely shamed by Donald Trump in 2016.

Jeb Bush, younger brother of former President George W. Bush was a front-runner for the Republican nomination in 2016 until Donald Trump started to make fun of his tiresome and boring demeanor at each Presidential debate. There were times when Bush was talking to a few people at stops on his presidential campaign and beg them to clap when he said something ‘invigorating.’

Everyone close to Jeb Bush has claimed that he was so embarrassed and humiliated after 2016 that he became a recluse and went into hiding until this past week. “I want you all to know I am alive!” he exclaimed with his fists in the air, “I am not running for any political office, nor am I endorsing anyone for the 2024 campaign, but I’m still here. Alive and well!”

Looking slightly disheveled and unkept, the entire conference consisted of Bush talking about when George W. would give him wet willies and beat him up when they were kids, admitting that this continued into their 20’s and sometimes even into their 30’s until they decided to take their political careers seriously.

The four people in attendance consisted of his wife and two of his three children. The press conference was set up in his backyard in an undisclosed neighborhood as no one knows where he lives now. His wife filmed the conference on her iPhone and distributed it to multiple media sources, but it was only accepted and aired by Fox News. 

Glad to know you’re alive, Jeb. We here at The Offended American wish you well in all that you do wherever you are.