New Progressive Popsicle Sticks Help With Gender Identification

Oakland, CA- In a world where our children are being groomed to accept the fact that a man can be a woman and a woman can be a man and lactation and menstruation can be experienced even if you have a penis and no breasts, we now have the popular Popsicle brand taking a new “spin” on their famed “Joke Sticks” made popular in the 90’s.

If you are a 90’s kid like me, you remember the cheesy joke sticks on Popsicle brand popsicle sticks that would give you the setup of a joke on the exposed end of the stick and then as you ate the popsicle you would see the punchline after the popsicle was eaten. 

That is marketing f*cking genius right there, folks. I would eat like 5 of these back-to-back on a hot summer afternoon. I was only 10 so the cheesy jokes were funny to me. I’d go run and tell my friends these jokes as if I made them up on my own. Ah, the good old days.

Now these progressives are taking the jokes to a more literal level. Instead of a setup, popsicle brand has now given children an inquisitive progressive prompt on the exposed end of the stick, while allowing them to lick the popsicle down to the subjective answer after the popsicle is finished.

Just a couple of examples include the prompt: “Can a man breastfeed?” Followed by the subjective answer: “Only if he truly believes in his cis-self.” Or the flat-out accusatory prompt and answer: “Are you questioning your sexuality?” “It’s okay, that just means you are definitely not straight.”

What are your thoughts on the popular Popsicle brand trying to indoctrinate your child? What are your thoughts on The Offended American producing our own brand of popsicles that place a prompt on the exposed part of the stick with a question about the history of America? Or what the second amendment to the constitution is? Tell us in the comments!