Elizabeth Warren Returns To Her Roots To Perform Ritual To Save Banking System

Choctaw, OK- Senator and former Native American squaw, Elizabeth Warren has had stresses, frustrations, and struggles this last week trying to help the U.S. Government deal with the impending doom facing our banking system. Fed up with the confusion and disagreements within D.C., the senator from Massachusetts returned to her roots this week to try and save the banking system the way her ancestors would have.

Before entering her native land in Oklahoma this week the senator gave a quick speech to a small group of reporters about her visit to her old home. “Muskokee mohawk Cheyenne. Adobe okie powwow,” the senator solemnly spoke to the crowd as she donned Native American garb, sans a feather or headdress, “That means welcome to our land and may God let the lands of this earth flourish beneath your toes,” she explained as a few quiet claps echoed through the small crowd. 

 “Me come home today to perform rituals of my grandparents and my grandparents grandparents,” she quietly said, “This country need much help, in grave danger.” She then reached to the dirt next to her bare feet and threw it up in the air as it showered down on reporters. “The winds of a dark future blow from the Valley of the Silicons,” she shouted with her eyes closed, “We must come together and let power of the spirits take over the money institutions to save country that stole my ancestors land.” The senator then started a native american chant and danced around as, what is assumed to be the chief of her tribe, came to escort her to their village made of teepees.

As she rode off on the back of a black steed, reporters shrugged and joined one another at the Choctaw Casino where a few of them were arrested later in the evening for public intoxication and resisting arrest.

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