Chicago, Ill- As Lori Lightfoot makes her way out of her seat as mayor of Chicago, this other guy is coming in with lofty goals not even Lightfoot would set. And that is saying a lot, folks.
Mayor-elect Brandon Johnson is making the preposterous decision to have a massive van stocked full of dime bags of weed drive around delivering the products to the homeless people of Chicago. “Mayor-elect Johnson is doing more for the city of Chicago than any before him,” said his best friend Chester Thompson, “And he ain’t even in office yet!”
The mayor-elect gave a short interview on Monday stating that “We need to be proactive, the homeless are people just like you and me and if they are spending all of their money on drugs then they aren’t giving back to the city by sending money on alcohol like good citizens.”
Our staff here at The Offended American reached out to Lori Lightfoot’s office and a spokesperson told us that “ Even we weren’t dumb enough to come up with a stupid plan like that.”
Mayor-elect Johnson also said the implementation of this plan would “Make the homeless in Chicago much more chill and relaxed so there probably won’t be much crime either.” He also added that he “Feels like they are looking ahead and other cities will follow,” and that he “Is so innovative that he feels like a black Elon Musk when he invented AI.”
Keep it here with The Offended American to see how all of this plays out in Chicago.