Palo Alto, CA- Everyone seems to be jumping on the trans bandwagon this week as social media dude that claims to be a girl, Dylan Mulvaney, has received massive sponsorships and endorsement deals with the likes of Nike and Bud Light. But the deals don't stop there! Mulvaney says that he was contacted by agents of the Easter Bunny last month in hopes to partner up for Easter.
“We are sick of people saying that rabbits can’t lay eggs!” said a frustrated spokesperson for the Easter Bunny, “If a rabbit identifies as a chicken, he certainly can lay eggs!” The spokesperson said that the Easter Bunny has been visibly frustrated for centuries about the fact that people have tried to claim that he cannot lay eggs. “The Easter Bunny was so relieved and gitty when he heard that there was finally someone as brave as Dylan Mulvaney to come out and set the record straight.”
According to the Easter Bunny’s spokesperson, the oppressive nature of humans over centuries haven’t allowed animals like the Easter Bunny to identify as anything other than what they had been labeled biologically. “No one takes into account the feelings of people, or rabbits, it’s just based on biology– which is absurd,” she complained, “But now that we have Dylan on our eggs, we feel like it’s a way to teach kids about inclusivity and understanding that biology is total crap.”
The eggs, which feature Mulvaney’s face on them, are available at Targets and any other liberal retail chain across America. So as you celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior this weekend, don’t forget to remind your kids that biology is total crap.
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