Los Angeles, CA- You can’t have everything in the world, right? As entitled celebrities have pouted for the last few months about ‘losing their blue checks’ on Twitter it is our duty to point out the fact that many celebrities still probably have some form of STD.
With a career now limited to mediocre sci-fi films and B movies, the ‘Who’s the Boss’ actress has made her place in Hollywood as being a chronic complainer about the political right in this country. Her latest whine fest came on the heels of Elon Musk’s announcement that if celebrities do not pay for the Twitter subscription then they would lose their blue check marks.
“Now people won’t know I’m famous,” Milano whined on an Instagram video she posted earlier this week, “That blue check gave me a meaning and purpose in life and now it’s all been taken away from me.” Any reasonable human being with an ounce of common sense would assume that if you are famous you would have millions of followers to prove you’re a legit account.
However, B-listers like Milano want to do everything they can to pretend to be A-listers as she admitted in her 45-minute Instagram livestream. “Just because I have been an overly promiscuous woman most of my adult life doesn’t mean I’m any less perfect than the A-listers out there,” she sobbed after chugging wine, “But I am not going to pay $8 to be some peasant like the rest of the world, I’d rather be a B-list actress with no blue check than a normal person with one. F*ck you, Musk!” she blurted out before ending her livestream.
Many of these poor celebrities might have lost their blue checks, but they’ll never lose their STD’s.
Comments