Obamas Go In Together For Their Yearly Prostate Exams

Washington, D.C.- Strolling hand-in-hand out of a D.C. hospital yesterday, Barack and Michelle Obama stopped to take a few questions from reporters regarding their health status.

“Uh, Michelle and I have, uh, we’ve created some new traditions over the last few years since we’ve been out of the White House,” the ex-president explained, “ya know, as uh, as life has slowed down and we’ve gotten a little older, we do things a little differently.” The two shared a loving glance toward each other, fingers still interlocked with one another.

“We aren’t spring chickens anymore,” the President said to an eruption of laughter from the adoring reporters. “We, uh, we need to take care of ourselves and take precautionary measures to ensure our bodies are functioning properly. The first year out of the White House, uh, Michelle was having some issues that I won’t detail…” “I was peeing a lot!” the former First Lady blurted out to another eruption of laughter and applause from the admiring reporters. “Um, yeah…” the ex-President continued with a perplexed look, “I guess there are no secrets here anymore– so yes, Michelle was using the restroom quite a bit…” “And I couldn’t keep a steady stream!” the First lady interjected once again to thundering laughter and unending admiration from reporters. “Honey, let’s leave a little up to the imagination here,” President Obama asked of his wife.

Unclasping hands with the former First Lady, the ex-President moved forward toward reporters, distancing himself from Mrs. Obama. “With the symptoms she was experiencing, we decided to take Michelle in for her first prostate exam that year,” the President explained. “Prostate issues run in her family and we were not going to take any chances here.”

Reporters began blurting out questions as the former President took a few to answer. “Do you mind me asking exactly what results they found, Mr. President?” asked Jim Acosta from CNN. “Hi Jim,” the President said with a wink, “They have found absolutely no issues with Michelle’s prostate over the last few years, and as a matter of fact our doctor said she has a more efficiently functioning prostate than I do.” “That’s the best news I’ve heard since I had my last pap smear,” Acosta admitted. 

Reporters gushed and cheered as the happy former First Couple lumbered away, Michelle escorting Barack into their government-issued Tahoe. “Get your prostates checked guys! I’m glad I did!” Mrs. Obama shouted with the window rolled down as the motorcade sped off.

Stay with The Offended American, where today's jokes are tomorrow's headlines.