Man Who Always Replies “Livin The Dream!” Prescribed Antidepressants

Rockwall, TX- James Couch of Rockwall, Texas loves his job. He wakes every morning with a smile on his face, brushes his teeth, straps on his suspenders and pins pieces of “flair” across his body. TGI Friday’s off Towne Crossing Boulevard couldn’t function without Jimmy’s patented catch phrases and slightly obnoxious overall demeanor. However, things on the surface weren’t always as they seemed on the inside for this career waiter.

“Jimmy loves Friday’s,” his manager explained to our Offended American staff, “He’s always coming and giving our wait staff pep-talks, even when he isn’t scheduled to work!” Though, his ‘teammates’ on the TGI Friday’s staff have mixed emotions on their relationship with Jimmy. “He sometimes comes on a little strong when he greets tables,” fellow server Stephen Hambling explained, “Jimmy likes to greet most tables with a magic trick, something everyone thought was creative in the beginning and it seemed to fit the mold here at Friday’s.” 

“Oh yeah, the magic tricks,” bartender Mark Gray scoffed, “It was alright until he did the flaming napkin trick and gave an elderly man third-degree burns to his scalp,” Gray shook his head as he continued to clean glassware, “Something ain’t right with him, man. He’s always got these annoying sayings, like ‘We’re a well-oiled machine, boys!’ and ‘I’m living the dream!’, he ain’t livin no dream man, you a waiter at TGI Friday’s, bro.”

After doing a little research on Couch’s work history, our Offended American staff learned that Jimmy has actually worked at 17 different chain restaurants over the last 2 years. Tommy Sporano, an old manager of Jimmy’s, told us that Jimmy was found chugging a bottle of whiskey hidden in the walk-in cooler in the kitchen of his restaurant, ‘The Limp Noodle Italian Cuisine.’ “We became concerned when all Tommy would say is ‘Livin the dream!’ no matter what we asked him,” Sporano explained, “I’d ask him to clean the restrooms, he’d say, ‘Livin the dream, boss!’ Something just wasn’t right. So when I found him belligerent in the dry storage area trying to snort a bag of flour one day, I knew it was time to take action.

Sporano said the owners of The Limp Noodle volunteered to get Jimmy into a rehab facility where he was prescribed antidepressants and was weaned off alcohol and cocaine. During Jimmy’s stint, the rehab facility hired a magician to come in and entertain the patients every Friday, thus, encouraging Jimmy to follow his true dream of working at TGI Friday’s and performing magic tricks for patrons. Never give up on your dreams, folks.

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