Kari Lake Concedes Defeat, Opens Account On OnlyFans

Phoenix, AZ- Arizona sex symbol turned politician is turning back to sex symbol following her concession to wanna-be sex symbol Katie Hobbs. In a highly scrutinized race to become Arizona’s fifth female governor, Kari Lake wished Katie Hobbs well in her 8-minute long concession speech.

“It has been a hard-fought race between myself and the liberal vote-counters in this great state,” Lake said. “I wish Governor-elect Hobbs the best of luck moving forward in her position as Governor of Arizona,” Lake conceded. She paused for a few moments and collected herself before continuing. “I would like to take this time to publicly announce my new position, or positions shall I say, as I move forward out of the political realm.” 

Leaving the political realm went against all speculation from pundits that she would be teaming up with one-upper and self-proclaimed “MMA legend” Sean Hannity on the Fox News Channel. However, Lake dropped a bombshell on the political and pornographical world with her announcement today stating, “I want to announce that tonight will be my first livestream on my OnlyFans Channel,” she announced as gasps circulated through the crowd and elderly republican women passed-out, prompting medical personnel to take action. 

“As the election drew on and the votes were counted day after day after day after day; and more democratic ballots started to appear out of thin air, I decided that OnlyFans might be my only way to stay relevant,” Lake explained, “I want to thank Mia Khalifa for all of her time and effort she put into teaching me the in-and-outs of the world of Only Fans.” Lake exclaimed, gyrating her hips and circulating her hand above her head. “Find me at KariMeTonight on OnlyFans. The livestream starts tonight at 7pm Eastern, so start subscribing!”

UPDATE: As of this morning Kari Lake has the 3rd most popular account on OnlyFans, surpassing Mia Khalifa at just over 24 million subscribers.