John Fetterman Cast As Karl In “Sling Blade 2”

Hollywood, CA- In a highly anticipated announcement, Miramax has confirmed that they will begin filming “Sling Blade 2” this summer. The decision comes almost 26 years after the release of the original “Sling Blade” starring Billy Bob Thornton as Karl Childers.

“I’ve decided to take a step back so I can focus solely on directing this time,” said actor/director Billy Bob Thornton, “And I really want someone who I feel can do Karl justice.” In the original hit, Thornton’s portrayal of Karl launched him to stardom earning him multiple award nominations including best actor in a leading role at the 1997 Academy Awards.

 “We’ve been auditioning folks for months and just hadn’t found the right person to portray Karl the way that I did,” Thornton explained, “Until we were watching the midterm elections.” Thornton continued to explain his infatuation with newly-elected Democratic congressman, John Fetterman. “I was watching him speak and just thought to myself, ‘That son of a bitch is Karl’,” Thornaton said, “His mannerisms, his speech, his underbite, he’s the entire package.”

Thornton explained that the production company has a very tight window to get this movie filmed, but they are happy to work around Fetterman’s busy schedule in congress. “I’m happy to do it,” Fetterman mumbled, “I always wanted to be famous, that’s the main reason I ran for congress.” When asked what this meant for his future as a politician, Fetterman said he wasn’t sure and that he would make that decision after the release of SB2. “I really need to see what happens with this film,” Fetterman mumbled, “Because this would be way easier and a lot more fun than being a part of congress.” 

Thornton also alluded to the fact that Fetterman could be a great fit as an actor in superhero movies as well. “He looks a lot like some of the other fictional characters like Hellboy and I think he could really get some traction with movies like that.” A blushing Fetterman said that was very sweet of Thornton and he only wishes he was as handsome as Hellboy. The two liberals should work very well together as they both have completely skewed views on society.

Watch out for “Sling Blade 2”, starring John Fetterman, eyeing a release in early 2024! Stay with The Offended American, where today's jokes are tomorrow's news.