Joe Biden Successfully Knows What Day It Is

Washington, D.C.- Today was a day for the record books in Washington D.C. We should relish in the great moments in the history of the United States, like the Gettysburg Address, the time Congress came together and sang the national anthem after 9/11, the defeat of the Nazi’s in World War II, and the list obviously goes on. However, today is a day for us all to come together and celebrate a true mark and a possible turning point in the Presidency of Joe Biden.

President Biden has seen his approval number slipping, pushback from the left with his stronger stance on the border, and a continuous habit of stumbling over his words in every major press conference. But today his cognitive abilities were on point as he didn’t miss a beat. The President was visiting a local elementary school where extra security was in place to prevent the President from sniffing any child’s hair, but the President was asked an important question that his staffers really didn’t want him to answer.

“We didn’t want the President answering too many questions from these elementary schoolers,” explained a Presidential staffer, “You never know when the President could get into a trap.” However, without warning a child blurted out, “What day is it, Mr. President?!” The security team then ran over to the President, covered him as if he was being shot at, and tried to hurry him out of the library, where the event was taking place, but the President resisted, simply telling his security, “I’ve got this, boys.” 

As the secret service officers let him go, the President proudly stood in front of the children, straightened his jacket, ran his fingers over his hair plugs, and said, “It is Monday.” To which he received thunderous applause from teachers as well as his security team and entourage of reporters.

Today might just be Monday to you, but just remember, this isn’t any Monday. This is the day that represents a turning point for our President’s cognitive development. It’s a proud day to be an American.