Democrats Declare 2020’s Gay-Pride Decade

Washington D.C.- Signing a historical executive order this week, President Joe Biden declared the entire rest of this decade “Gay-Pride Decade.” The announcement came on the heels of the ‘pride boycotts’ that have erupted against Target stores across the nation.

The President walked out to his podium in the Rose Garden with sunglasses on happily waving his own personal gay-pride flag. “We heard you, gays!” The President shouted as he stabbed the flag pole into the plush grass, smiling as the adoring press cried and cheered. “We heard you and we will hear you!” he continued, “For the next 7 years!”

Flanked on either side of the President were prominent gays in the world of politics and entertainment as well as Vice President Harris. “These gays will not be ignored any longer!” the President promised, “Ya know, back in my day gay meant happy but, uhhh, the times…” the President stammered, “But now we have gays that are people. People are gay. These are gays,” he explained, pointing out the people standing alongside him, “They will be gay for the next 7 years, and then after that if they want, they can even go back to being ungay.”

The press confusingly looked at each other while still praising and clapping for the President. Jill Biden came along and scooted the President off the stage as Vice President Harris stepped up to the podium. “Good afternoon gays!” she cackled, “Ya know, gay is good! Gay is normal! Gay is fun!” She continued to laugh as the press began standing on their chairs, cheering on Harris and the gays. “People can be gay, and sometimes they arent accepted,” she sadly explained to the onslaught of boo’s from the press. “Parades didn’t work, a week of pride didn’t work, a month didn’t work!” she began to shout, “But now! You gays will have the rest of this decade to get your way!! This will solve all of our problems!!” Harris then grabbed the flag and began to ferociously wave it from side to side. To end the press conference, she handed the flag off to trans cabinet member Rachel Levine and then began making out with Rachel Maddow at the podium as YMCA blared through the P. A. speakers.

In addition to the order, every business in America will be required to fly the pride flag above the American flag for the rest of the decade. Keep it here at The Offended American for more on this historical declaration.