Biden Administration Introduces More ‘Biden-Friendly’ Stairs For Air Force One

Washington, DC- It’s no secret that our decrepit president has not only had cognitive issues, but also some motor skill issues throughout his dismal time in office. The administration is doing everything they can to prevent the president from embarrassing himself any more than he already has.

Thousands came out for the celebratory ceremony this morning as the administration showcased Biden’s new Air Force One stair lift. “We have brought the leader of the free world out this morning to showcase the newest addition to our administration!” exclaimed Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, “The president is getting strapped in now!” she said as she pointed to Joe Biden getting strapped into the new stair lift.

As cameras panned over to the president getting strapped into his new lift, he, unfortunately, wasn’t strapped in securely on the first try and immediately fell out. “Whoops!” Jean-Pierre exclaimed while narrating the entire process, “Looks like he’s okay folks!” 

The stair lift is the longest stair lift in the world as reported by the Guinness Book of World Records. “It should only take the president about 22 minutes to get from the bottom to the top!” Jean-Pierre explained, “We have coffee and refreshments set up for everyone to enjoy as well while we are waiting for the president to reach the top!” 

After the 22-minute process was complete, Biden had fallen asleep in the chair and was not allowed to be awakened until he woke on his own 6 and a half hours later.