AOC: Gas Stoves Caused My Brain Damage

The Bronx, New York, New York- In an electrically heated exchange over Twitter on Monday, political wunderkind Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez needed the world to know that she’s had it with gas stoves! In a declaration that is likely to define the Biden Presidency, he has been pushing for a ban on gas stoves since his inauguration. “Don’t tell me about citizen’s right to keep and bear gas stoves,” Biden said in a 60 Minutes interview last spring, “If we have to go door-to-door and confiscate every gas stove in America, we will.” 

Piggy-backing off the President’s statements, AOC doubled-down while arguing with Texas Congressman Ronny Jackson after he stated on Twitter that, “You can come pry my gas stove from my cold, dead hands,” which elicited AOC’s response: “Ongoing exposure to NO2 gas is linked to reduced cognitive performance!”

Former Arkansas state legislative candidate Max Avery jokingly asked AOC if this was "An attack on @gordonramsey?” to which she responded with a crying emoji and a personal admission, “I know what it’s like, you jerk. My mother cooked on a gas stove for years– that is the only thing the doctor’s have been able to trace my brain damage back to.”

Not expecting such a personal confession, congressmen and women from across the country expressed their condolences to Ocasio-Cortez. “We have always wondered what was wrong with you,” Florida congressman Matt Gaetz replied. “”We can’t imagine how many stupid people could’ve been smarter if only we would’ve banned gas stoves a long time ago,” tweeted Michigan congresswoman Rashida Tlaib.

“We always knew there were signs of an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex in Ms. Cortez,” Dr. Marc Siegel told Sean Hannity, “But now we know the true cause of her low IQ and lack of normal cognitive function.” 

Stay with The Offended American to keep you updated on the developments surrounding AOC’s lack of normal cognitive function.