After Receiving Reparations, Man Misses Life As Victim

Atlanta, GA- After digging through decades of genealogical research, the government dished out more than 40 million checks to those who were identified as descendants of slavery this last week. D’Treyveon Washington was one of those fortunate enough to get paid for the mistreatment of his ancestors 150 years ago.

When Washington received his first round of reparations checks, he was ecstatic, “I was happy!” Washington exclaimed when asked about his feelings after he received his check for $237,000. “I ain’t never had $237 in my account, let alone $237,000!” Washington said that the first thing he did was “buy his mama a new house” and then took a trip. “Hell yeah, after that Mama told me I needed to invest the rest of that sh*t so I figured what better way to invest than heading to Vegas?!” Washington said with his gold-toothed grin. “I could double my winnings overnight!”

Unfortunately, come to find out, Washington did not double his winnings that night. He explained to our TOA reporters that he’s always had a fondness for “blow and hoes,” so he spent all the money on that as opposed to gambling it all away. “I learned my lesson!” Washington explained, “I ain’t gonna do that with my next round of reparations.”

When the second round was released, our TOA team caught back up with D’Treyveon. “I don’t know man,” he began, “It just ain’t the same now.” Surprised by the disappointment and sadness in his voice, we tried to understand why he was so down. “This was supposed to be great, man,” he quietly began, “The white man finally making up for the mistreatment of my family, but now everyone is always nice to me, ya know, I can’t really use mistreatment and race as a reason people treat me differently anymore,” Washington sadly admitted. “I have everything I need now, but I miss not having everything because people just felt bad for me and I miss that feeling.” 

Washington told us in another recent interview that he had signed over all future reparations to a stripper in Vegas named Divinity and is now living on the streets. “I missed this life too much,” he excitedly said, “I made some other people happy and now it’s time to make myself happy again out here on the streets.”

Stay with The Offended American for more updates on “Reparations 2022.”