45-Year-Old Man Stresses About Which 21-Year-Old’s Jersey To Wear To Game
- offendedamerican24
- May 23, 2024
- 2 min read

Columbus, OH - Stephen Ledburn, a 46-year-old sandwich artist from South Columbus, has developed health issues from stress over which college jersey to wear. Ledburn, a self-proclaimed sports fanatic and die-hard college football fan, has a closet full of football jerseys, game balls, foam fingers, and a vast collection of college-football memorabilia.
“I don’t even care about one specific team,” Ledburn admitted, “I just love the sport. If a team is playing, I want to make sure I have a jersey to wear.” Ledburn told the TOA staff that he has a jersey for almost ¾ of the teams in the NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision. “My goal is to eventually have a jersey for every FBS school someday,” he gloated.
However, commitment like this comes at a cost. Ledburn has been put on high-blood pressure medication and blood thinners over the last few seasons. “I had to do a bunch of tests with my doctor as I was getting very light-headed when I would stand up and cheer,” Ledburn explained. “As we were running tests, he was asking what my favorite jerseys and players were; and everytime I had to decide, he noticed a spike in my blood pressure. There was one point where he asked me which jersey I was going to wear this weekend. As I pondered it, my vision started to blur and I almost collapsed. It was at that point that my doctor knew he had to take action.”
When asked about his obsession with wearing jerseys, Ledburn explained that he “Wanted to make the players proud when he wears their jerseys.” He went into brief detail about how “cool” he thought they all were. “It’s a lot of pressure on me when I wear these guys' jerseys, ya know? They’re so cool and athletic and I want them to think I’m cool too. I just picture one of them seeing me wearing their jersey and wanting to high-five me and be best friends.”
Ledburn also mentioned that likes to don the jerseys as he “dominates all of the kids in his neighborhood” when they play touch football. “Oh yeah, I’m the best touch player on this block! I embarrass those guys! Plus my doctor says it’s a great way to keep my blood pressure down.”
Unfortunately, Ledburn was unable to attend any games this week as he suffered a mild heart attack and was incapacitated for his entire Saturday. We wish a safe and speedy recovery to Mr. Ledbur and best of luck on his future jersey selections.
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